You Can’t Have Sex AND Be Smart, Ladies!

Source: Some Asshole

 

I saw this image today on Pinterest and it made me genuinely mad, for 4 reasons:

1. The idea that sex & intelligence cannot coexist

Do rocket scientists never have sex? Do people drop out of high school to have more time for blow jobs? No, because those notions are ridiculous. Sex and reading can coexist (or be absent) in anyone’s life. It’s not like when the evening hits, I have to decide between catching up on some reading and gettin’ dirty in the sheets.

2. The idea that sex and intelligence are dependent on each other

How/if someone has sex and their perceived intelligence have no guaranteed correlation. If you read books, there is no scientific evidence that you are not having sex. If you are crackin’ an egg of knowledge all over someone, there’s no reason it can’t be done mid blowjob.

3. The fact that this is aimed exclusively at women.

Combining the fact that the picture is of a woman, and the reference to opening legs + blowing men (and the tendency for these sort of stupid images to be hetero-normative) leads me to believe that this is a classic case of slut shaming. Because you know we women can only either be smart and sexless, or full of dicks and watching bad reality TV!

4. The idea that reading and intelligence are better than having sex.

Even if a person were to prefer having sex over reading a book, who cares? It doesn’t make that person any less intelligent/respectable/awesome. If you are just so damn wrapped up in their choices it’s probably you who needs to reevaluate your life, not them.

 

Anyway, that’s my rage for the day. Thanks for reading after my long absence. Please share any images/quotes that make your blood boil!

 

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Jan Brewer Proves To Be The Worst

I’ve lived in Phoenix, AZ my entire life. I know and see the impact illegal immigration has. It has always been a present part of my life, from my classmates who were brought across the border before they could even walk, to the horrors of drug and sex traffickers in the desert on my nightly news.

I know we need immigration reform in a lot of ways. I know that behind SB1070 was a (misguided) move toward removing immigrants who commit serious crimes out of our state. I know that immigration is a real problem, I am not clouded by the idea that every immigrant is innocent and wanting freedom.

But I know that immigration is a problem that needs to be solved through cooperation and compassion and humanity, which is why I was so excited when the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals act was put into place.

The children – infants, even – who are brought across the border illegally had no choice in breaking the law. They had no choice in growing up as an American. They had no option to say, “Hey, this is illegal, we should stop” and leave the only life they knew.

With DACA, America gives these children a choice, an option. Something they were never given before – the option to be an upstanding American citizen, to be documented and get health care and a driversĀ licenseĀ and work a job that pays taxes to America. The opportunity to start on the path of being a legal citizen.

Jan Brewer doesn’t like this.

She doesn’t like children, teenagers, and young adults with good records, who want to become American citizens but have no path to do so, having this opportunity.

She would rather young people just hop on back over the border to a strange country and live there. Just because she had the blessing of falling out of a vagina onto American soil, while these children were dragged on to it.

America is supposed to be a land of freedom and opportunity and growth and the chance to achieve all your dreams. Here we have thousands of people – yes, illegal immigrants are people, too! – who are ready to work for those opportunities and freedom – and Jan Brewer wants to deny them that chance.

For what reason? The application fee to be considered for DACA is nearly $500 (covering the costs of giving benefits to illegals), it gives young people a chance to work in America and pay taxes to America (I guess she’d rather keep raising our taxes in AZ), and it sets the path for a generation of legal Americans to help curb immigration and reform it.

Jan Brewer doesn’t like it because – well I’m still not entirely clear. She seems to be too busy throwing a tantrum to explain her position outside of, “They’re illegal!”

Until she does, I’ll be busy getting ready to vote her out of office. I’m sure much of Arizona is tired of her focus on blocking immigration reform rather than helping our state move forward.

Tips for Single Ladies

…in the 1930′s.

Don’t stick your finger in his ear, ladies. That’s for the 3rd date.

Yeah, fuck your interests, bitch.

So that’s where all my dates went wrong!

Looks like a pretty successful night to me.

Courtesy of Sad and Useless.

Eating Lunch in the Library

During my senior year of high school, I ate my lunch in the library.

“But Tegan, I thought you were the most prettiest and most popular girl in school!”

Oh, I’m flattered! But no. I was a weird little troll in high school who was part of video game club.

The point is, by the time I was 17/18, I simply had learned that eating lunch in the library was awesome.

The years before, eating with actual people in the sunshine, was nice and all, but when it comes down to it you really can’t beat lunch in the library.

I’d come in with my bottle of water, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and plastic baggie of wheat thin crackers, and settle into a corner. Sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend, sometimes with my little Freshman brother. I’d have a delicious half hour to do homework or read a book or draw or sleep or whatever I pleased. One solid half hour to myself that wasn’t spent gossiping, or taking notes, or working the cash register at Target.

I learned some very important things during those lunch times:

  • When there is no one around to listen to you, you can listen to yourself. Instead of gossiping or talking about class or complaining, I let myself stroll through the aisles of the books and have conversations with myself (in my head, usually). I let myself realize what kind of literature, and from that ideals and topics, I truly love.
  • You meet the most interesting people when you’re alone. Without the distraction of another person, it’s much easier to notice the traits of others. Alone people talk to other alone people.
  • The social constructs of high school can truly be damaging. Not to say it always is, but really, we all have been or we know the people who start drama, or are involved in it frequently in high school. By removing myself from the time and place it mostly manifests, I managed to make my senior year relatively drama free.
  • Time alone is inspiration and motivation. Its easy to skip an assignment or procrastinate on a project when you’re surrounded by people and distractions. Being alone in a library with a sandwich really is a no-excuses allowed motivator.

Just wanted to share that with you all. Where did you eat lunch in high school?

Abstinence-Only “Education”

I’m going to go ahead and say it.

ABSTINENCE-ONLY “EDUCATION” IS NOT EDUCATION.

Now, let me start this off with: I am pro-abstinence. I think our society puts too much weight on sex, and it causes a lot of unnecessary pressure on our youth. I think people should be encouraged to abstain from sex until they are physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to partake in it consensually. There is nothing wrong with abstinence.

That being said, I am also pro-health, pro-body, pro-STD-free, pro-protection, and pro-sex.

Purposefully denying young people the education to know and understand their bodies, along with how to protect them is wrong and dangerous, especially in a place that should be safe to learn (whether it’s at school or at home).

Sex is natural. It’s not wrong, or dirty. It’s human to have urges, and none of us would be here if we didn’t acknowledge and act on those urges. No matter how much you want your precious child to be shielded from sex, their body is going to develop and have urges just like every one else’s.

Furthermore, the facts speak for themselves. States with mostly abstinence-only “education” also have the highest rate of teen pregnancies and show no evidence that it prevents teens from having sex.

The argument I’ve heard for abstinence-only “teaching” is, “If we tell them all about sex, they’ll want to have it.

REALLY? Telling a 10-year-old girl that a watermelon is going to come out her crotch if she gets pregnant makes her want to have sex? Telling a 14-year-old boy what herpes is will make him go buck-wild on the next girl he sees? WTF are you in to?

I was fortunate enough to have comprehensive sex-ed (both in school and from my parents). Learning about tampons and condoms and weird things that dongs do did NOT make me want to jump into bed with a dude. I don’t recall any of my classmates tearing off their clothes and emitting a roar of newfound sexuality, either.

The point is, hiding information – crucial knowledge – from a kid in an effort to protect them does more harm than good. So let’s stop calling it education and call it what it really is – forcing your beliefs onto children and denying them the knowledge to make the decision on their own.

Support comprehensive sex education!

Born This Way Tag

For those not in the know, a Tag is something bloggers/Youtubers take part in as a theme topic. The topic is created (Example: 10 weird things about me) and then after one blogger answers the questions, they “tag” others to do the same.

I decided to do the Born This Way Tag (No one tagged me. Pretend someone did.) based off that one episode of Glee where they all sing about their differences, or something.

Anyway, take a negative stereotype that you’ve been subjected to in the past, explain it, and then make it into a positive. This blog is a good example (or you could just read on here).

I’ve been called Standoffish

In a positive light, I just don’t have much to say.

I don’t like talking just to talk and unless we’re drunk at a bar and you’re my 3 best girlfriends, I’m not going to yammer on. This stereotype mostly comes from coworkers – which is funny as I often call these same stereotypers time wasters. Just because I don’t want you in my office in 20 minutes telling me about your trip to Ohio doesn’t mean I don’t like you – I’d just rather get back to work.

I’ve been called Not Assertive Enough

In a positive light, I pick and choose my battles and don’t sweat the small things.

Working in a corporate environment, especially start-ups (as I tend to favour) means a lot of competitive, entrepreneurial minds making very big decisions together…which leads to a lot of head butting. After hundreds of meetings of debating and arguing the best course of action for a company, I’ve learned that at the end of the day, you can’t win them all, and you should focus on the big things. Being assertive in every argument, disagreement, or debate means a lot of high tension and stress, and I’d rather save that for the big things – not for nitpicking design changes on a website.

I’ve been called a lazy college dropout

In a positive light, I am an opportunist.

I have never been good at school. I went to a junior college for two or so years part time, and even though I tried a lot of different things, nothing fit. At the same time I was paying money for teachers to tell me about history, I was making more doing advertising and marketing for companies. When I decided to drop out, it was no easy decision, but it wasn’t out of laziness. It was out of seeing the bigger opportunities that were available to me now. Since I’ve left the big C, there have been up and downs, but I’ve been working my hardest through all of it. Taking a break from college or leaving entirely doesn’t always mean you’re LAZY, but sometimes you’re meant to do something else.

I have been called a Giant Bitch

In a positive light, We’re all kind of jerks sometimes, including me.

I found a lot of these tags to be super-duper self glorifying, and I find a dose of modesty to be healthy. Sometimes stereotypes are made about a person for a reason, and instead of finding the bright side of it, we sometimes should look inward at our actions and how they look to others. Yes, I have definitely been a giant bitch before – you probably have too. Embrace it and learn from it (and find the bright side from other things).

I’m tagging: Anyone who comments and wants to tell me their Born This Way stereotype flip.

Just Use a Condom.

Look, I love condoms, I really do. They protect against most STDs, frequently prevent pregnancy, and are easily accessible and affordable. But they aren’t enough.

Without fail, every time CNN or a blogger or someone posts an article about the need for accessable, affordable birth control, someone inevitable smugly comments, “just use a condom!”

Here is why I will not just “use a condom”:

  • Condoms break. They break from friction, improper use, and just plain old bad luck.
  • Condoms can be tampered with. One can remove a condom discreetly during intercourse, damage it beforehand, use expired condoms, or put it on incorrectly. Neither party should have to put the full responsibility/trust of protection into another’s hands.
  • Condoms are not 100% effective. Some STDs can still be transferred even with condom use through skin contact. Also due to the fact that they are essentially a latex glove, there is no guarantee it will stay in tact the whole session.

Bottom line: Condoms are great, but not always reliable. You know what can help patch up that hole of unreliability…?

  • The pill is a wonderful back up in case of broken condoms.
  • Being on BC leaves you in control of your baby-making (or lack of).
  • BC means constant protection, whether you’re having sex or not.
  • While not 100% effective against pregnancy, the pill used in conjunction with condoms gets you as close to that number as possible.
  • Birth control makes more sense to most people in long term, closed relationships. You know you’ll be having sex fairly consistently with the same person (or people if you’re in a closed poly relationship), you know you are both clean and faithful, and you can hold off on kids till you’re ready without buying boxes of condoms that may or may not break.

Are condoms awesome and great at protecting against STDs? YES! Is the pill awesome and great at protecting against pregnancy? YES! Should you be able to choose which one or both or none to use when you want? YES!

Telling the millions of sexually active people in the world to simply use one method of birth control that is not 100% reliable is ignorant and careless.

And also, frankly none of their damn business.

Arizona’s Scary New Law For Pregnant Women

Pregnant & Clueless - Just how Arizona wants you, ladies!

I’ve been holding off writing this in the hopes that it would not pass, but alas…

Arizona – what, what, WHAT are you doing?!

The AZ Senate has approved a piece of legislation that will block doctors from being hit with malpractice lawsuits if they fail to disclose a child’s disease during prenatal genetic testing.

Yes, I said disclose, not discover.

Because now it’s apparently okay to ignore the Hippocratic oath and not tell pregnant women about their own children’s diseases in case they decide to get an abortion.

The GOP is so worried about abortions, they would rather see women die, children die, and lives put into ruin than let people make their choices about their bodies.

Bringing a child into the world who has a severely debilitating disease can be devastating to an unprepared mother and family. The emotion, energy, worry, and cost put into just the post-birth care for a child who needs immediate and constant medical attention can turn what would be a joyous occasion into one of chaos and heartbreak.

And all for what? So a doctor can sit back proudly and say, “well because of me she didn’t have an abortion!”

Listen up, AZ Senate, it’s not up to you to worry about what she may or may not do with a fetus. It is in her legal right to abort – and it is her right to keep the child. To withhold such information from anyone is selfish, terrifying, and above all careless.

So fellow Arizonans, please contact your House representative & Governor Jan Brewer and let them know the “Wrongful Birth” bill is doing more harm than good – and helping no one.