My vision? A feminist movement that works toward a world where no one is limited or defined by their gender identity.
A quote from Miriam in her goodbye post to Feministing. Even if you’ve never followed her work, I strongly suggest reading about her thoughts on the future of feminism and where the movement needs to go in order to be successful.
Barack Obama is asking women what it would mean to them if they didn’t have to cover the basic health care of birth control. Here was my answer:
This policy will impact my life because I’ll know that every month, I’ll be able to be safe.
I’ll be able to control my painful cramps enough to go to my job every day.
I’ll be able to know that if I choose to be intimate, I’ll be responsible about it.
I’ll know that every month, I’ll have that extra $50 to spend on food, necessities, and my asthma medication.
I’ll be able to know that even if I have to take a lower paying job some day, I won’t have to choose between birth control and dinner.
I’ll be able to control when or if I have children, and how many.
I’ll be able to work in a career and know there’s minimal chance of me getting pregnant and having to cost the company money with maternity leave.
These benefits are numerous and I know I am not alone in them.
This benefits everyone – women, men, children, companies, families. Everyone is effected by birth control access in some way – being able to control not only your own health, but your own family planning is what allows 50% of the population to move forward and, in that, progress America.
To put yet another hurdle to birth control in the way of women is to say, “I do not want America to move forward. I do not want our workforce strong, our population under control, or our people happy.”
“She was drunk, how could she be raped? She probably just regrets it.”
“If she didn’t want to have sex, why was she drinking so much with him?”
“Take some responsibility for getting too drunk, it’s not his fault you didn’t want to have sex.”
Sound familiar? It’s the standard victim blaming responses to people who are raped when drinking.
There are a large group of people who – for whatever reason – do not like acknowledging rape outside ‘angry deranged man jumping out of pushes at night to attack virginal catholic young woman who was jogging to church‘ scenarios. And because the thought of rape in other circumstances makes them uncomfortable/fearful/angry, they twist the situation around to blame the victim.
The same argument comes up whenever a person is brave enough to share their raped-when-drinking story – “Why weren’t you more responsible?”
Should we ALL look out for ourselves and watch our alcohol intake? Absolutely. Is it more important to watch what you drink rather than to, say, make sure you don’t forcefully stick your dick in someone incapable of stopping you?
There is never a reason to rape someone. Someone being drunk, asleep, sober, awake – is not a reason for rape to be acceptable.
Should we blame the person for not stopping at the 4th beer? Is it their fault another person decided to ignore law, ethics, morality, and humanity by raping a person who could not adequately defend themselves? Fuck no!
Stop blaming the victim for drinking, and start blaming the person who made the conscience decision to harm another person.
Small rant inspired by the excellent Laci Green Sex+ video that really, should be shown in schools everywhere:
With the recent SGK defunding then refunding (sort of) Planned Parenthood debacle, I’ve had the oh-so joyous experience of seeing the regular Planned Parenthood myths circulating again. It’s debunking time!
Myth #1: 90% of Planned Parenthood’s Services Are Abortions
I’ve seen this one come in a few different percentages, none close to the real amount. Right on their website it states that only 3% of PP’s services are abortions, with the rest being divided up into STD testing and care, cancer screenings, etc. Full details here.
Myth #2: Planned Parenthood’s Abortions Cause Breast Cancer
This myth stems from the myth that abortions cause breast cancer. There is no evidence to support this theory and really, it’s disgusting that the anti-choice movement would create such a horrendous lie about a very real disease. Proof here.
Myth #3: Planned Parenthood Only Wants You To Have An Abortion
Many people seem to believe that lurking inside the walls of PP clinics are evil witches who draw in pregnant women and then feast on their unborn. This is not true, to say the least. In fact, PP has every woman seeking/considering an abortion go through a very lengthy interview to ensure that this is what they truly want. They provide access to adoption and pre-natal care services, and if they believe you are being pressured to have an abortion, they won’t perform it.
Myth #4: Your Tax Dollars Go Toward Abortions
No. This takes two seconds to disprove. See the Hyde Amendment.
Myth #5: Defunding/Eliminating Planned Parenthood Will Stop Abortions
Some people have this strange belief that if someone does not have access to a safe abortion, they simply won’t have one. Yes, that may be true for some, but hardly all. Before Roe vs Wade (and after!), hundreds of women died or were critically injured from self or back alley abortions. Coat hangers, baseball bats, rat poison, and more were all used by women in an attempt to induce an abortion. Most of the time, this led to unstoppable bleeding and death. History has proven that the absence of safe abortions just means more dead women (along with whatever was in their body).
Myth #6: No One Uses Planned Parenthood But Sluts & Whores
1 in 5 women will go to Planned Parenthood at some point in their life, and over 3 million patients visit PP each year. The main reasons people go to PP? Because they’re underage, living on low income, they don’t feel comfortable with their family doctor, and/or accessibility. Yes, even 60 year old Catholic women with 3 children who are not sexually active need pap smears and cancer screenings, surprise!
Regardless of your stance on abortion, it’s undeniable that Planned Parenthood provides needed services to thousands. Making up lies in order to deter people from safe, affordable health care only shows the true colours of the extremes in the “pro-life” movement.
Update – SGK will continue funding them for this fiscal year, after that Planned Parenthood will have to reapply, at which point I assume they will be denied in a quiet manner. Shame on SGK’s PR for these shady antics.
Today I got the news that Susan G Komen (the charity for breast cancer) has caved to anti-choice bullying and ceased their funding of Planned Parenthood breast & cervical cancer screenings.
This matters. This hurts a lot of women.
This isn’t an issue of pro-life or pro-choice, it’s an issue of anti-women.
Planned Parenthood is not some castle of abortions, sucking in pregnant women with a fetus-magnet and forcing them into procedures.
They provide cancer screenings, birth control, adoption advisement, pre-natal care, pap smears, sex education, and so much more. All of this to the huge part of the population that is unable to afford these simple necessities because of high medical costs from regular doctors and hospitals.
This is a DIRECT attack on women living in poverty, no way around it. The only person this movement hurts is the woman who has cancer forming in her breasts right now and is unable to afford an exam.
This doesn’t stop abortions, so I’m not sure why the fuck the VP of Susan G Komen’s charity pushed this movement so hard, because it did nothing for her cause…unless her cause is wanting more women to die of breast cancer. Hey, whatever floats your boat, you nasty bitch.
So I’ll forgo donating to you, Susan G Komen. The biggest issue of breast cancer is no longer awareness, but access to care for it. Clearly your charity doesn’t seem to care about that, though.
You can donate to Planned Parenthood here to help support affordable health care, family planning, and general wellness.
PS – Save your argument of “There are other places poor women can go to get screenings!” unless you’re ready to provide one full service location for every PP location.
“Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, ‘She doesn’t have what it takes.’ They will say, ‘Women don’t have what it takes.’”
— Clare Booth Luce
I hear this a lot:
“Can I be a feminist if I shave my legs?”
“Can I be a feminist if I make a sandwich for my husband?”
“Can I be a feminist if I wouldn’t have an abortion?”
“Can I be a feminist if I am Catholic?”
“Can I be a feminist if I am a stay at home mom?”
The answer to all of these and more is a resounding YES! Yes, you can wear an apron, clean the kitchen, get married and have 100 babies and still be a feminist.
Unlike misogynists/sexists – feminism believes you should have the choice to do or be something, rather than having the choice made for you on the sole basis that you are a woman.
Feminism isn’t about how you look, what happens in your uterus (or even having a uterus), your religion, your marriage, your home life, your past, or who you make a sandwich for.
It’s about having the choice to be or not be something – and making that choice on your own time and benefit. To be a mother, or a wife, or a CEO, or a rockstar. It’s about choosing to be hairy or hairless, a breadwinner or a bread baker (or neither, or both), Catholic or Atheist or a worshiper of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
So yes, you can be a feminist if you shave your legs. Or don’t have a uterus. Or do want to keep your baby. Or do want to stay at home. It’s not any of my business what you choose to do or be – but I will defend your right to choose it.
As I approach my 23rd birthday, I thought I’d share something I wrote when I was 21. Please feel free to add your own in the comments!
1. Move On, Move Up
Relationships end, friendships break, jobs are lost and opportunities are missed. Move on, and more importantly, move up to bigger and better things.
2. Read Everything
Stop skimming over that article your friend posted on FB or the intriguing news story on your Twitter feed. Take the 2, 5, or even 10 minutes to read a few things a day – whether its the news, a blog, or a short story. You’ll have more to talk about, think about, and maybe even a bit of inspiration.
3. Sleep On It
And not just important decisions! Sometimes feelings of stress, depression, and frustration can be combated with a simple good night’s rest. This means a GOOD night’s rest – not a night of drinking wine until you pass out on the couch during a Sex and the City marathon (though sometimes we all need that too).
4. Keep A Pair of Heels and a Nice Outfit in Your Car
Because seriously, you never know.
5. Do Lunch.
Stop staying at home and only seeing your friends when you go to a party, or dinner, or a movie. Take the hour (or two) to sit with your friend, eat delicious food, and actually talk and listen about life. We get so distracted with only talking through emails or texts that we sometimes forget the value of actually looking at a person and communicating with them.
Psst- need any idea for a girl’s night? I have 50 ideas right here.
6. Indulge Yourself When You Need It
Don’t wait until your breaking point to indulge yourself. Watch some trashy reality TV, eat a pizza, whatever, and then get back to life.
7. Sometimes a Month is a Lot, Other Times Its Nothing
Time is worth what you make it worth.
8. Challenge Yourself
Your parents/teachers/friends can only push you so far. If you don’t motivate yourself, you aren’t ever going to find your limits, much less break them.
9. Have Some Damn Goals
Don’t watch the days roll by and figure that your life calling will fall into your lap. Take the time to set your goals and aspirations. You don’t want to find yourself still waiting for life to come to you 5, 10 years down the road.
10. Be ProActive About Those Damn Goals
Setting goals is a nice step – but hardly enough. Don’t just hope that you’ll become CEO of Kraft as you eat a third bowl of Mac n Cheese. Work, work, work.
11. Learn to Laugh At Yourself
Laughing at yourself doesn’t mean you don’t have respect for yourself, it means you have enough respect and confidence to know that jokes are just jokes.
12. Some People Are Just Jerks
It’s not your job to change them, or show them that they’re jerks. Don’t waste your time.
13. Your Views of What’s Right & Wrong Will Change
And that’s okay. Don’t restrict yourself to certain morals and ideals just because that’s the way it’s always been – if something now seems right to you, then it probably is.
14. You can’t control a lot in life, but what you can control is totally worth it.
Eat what you please, wear what you like, see the people you love, ignore those you don’t.
15. Have a Savings Account (and actual money in it)
And don’t withdraw from it until you absolutely have to. Being broke blows, don’t set yourself up for it.
16. If Something Is Wrong, Say So
To your friends, your doctor, your senator, your news station, your grandmother. Apathy won’t get you anywhere, ever.
17. Write Shit Down
Your memory is not as good as you think it is.
18. Learn How To Change a Tire
It isn’t that hard, I promise.
19. People Remember What You Say More Than You Realize
Whether its positive or negative, choose your words carefully. They’re the most powerful weapon you have (unless you have a cross bow).
20. Throw/Attend a Theme Party
Don’t be the lazy person who didn’t get into it, either. If you think you look like a fool, then you’re doing it right.
21. Bring Chapstick Everywhere
Seriously, people.
Recently, the controversy of public breast feeding has been brought to light and debated again. Namely through a Target employee asking a woman to stop it, and a NASCAR driver calling breast feeding gross.
What the fuck is everyone’s issue with other people’s boobs?
Seriously, WHY is publicly feeding your child in a natural way a controversy? Breasts are there to feed babies! That’s their function!
Apparently there are people out there who don’t like to associate something they see as a sexual object with food for babies. Because like, ewww, a boob! That’s only for sexy time, why is it out here giving life to a child!?
“But Tegan, why don’t they just take it into a public restroom?”
Because would you eat your lunch in public restroom? I think it’s gross when people chew with their mouths open, but I don’t ask them to go eat in a toilet.
Also, breast feeding is natural, and not something that should be hidden away so we can all pretend it’s not happening. Chances are you were breastfed. There’s nothing gross about feeding a kid, and it’s not a breast feeding woman’s problem if you can only see her breasts as sexual objects.
There are large groups of society that condemn women who choose not to breast feed (a very normal and personal choice that shouldn’t be ridiculed) and yet, while we demand that they breast feed, we also demand that we don’t have to ever see or acknowledge it?
Also what’s with all these weirdos staring at women breast feeding their child? If you’re spending more than .5 seconds watching this, I am pretty sure you’re the one with the problem, not them.
Via: Online Colleges Blog
Ready for a wild weekend? Well I hate to damper your mood, but take a minute to check out the above infographic on STD rates before you pick up that case of beer for the party.
While you’re at it, pick up some condoms too. If you’re embarrassed to buy them at the store, here’s a pack of 60 you can order online for pretty cheap. Ladies, don’t rely on him to have a condom, especially if you don’t know how long that thing has been sitting in his wallet.
Have a happy weekend, Heathens!